It’s a know fact we like those that are like ourselves. We like those who we have something “in common with.”
“in common with” meaning they are like you! When people are like each other – they will automatically like each other.
However, in business we don’t always get to pick out those that we like to work with. So, in business we can use our Rapport building skills to get others to like you. Rapport is being at ease with someone – it’s pointing out your similarities & emphasizing those similarities so that they will like you and trust you. In business or in any personal moment in your life when you are dealing with a client or a person where you need to develop a quick relationship – the best way to create this positive relationship is to quickly create rapport with them. There are several ways to create rapport using words, tonality & physiology. Such as: posture, breathing, eye movements, the tones & volumes of your voice, and matching their predicate words, phrases, experiences etc… These rapport building skills take practice but will work wonders for you in your personal & business life!
You will know when you have established rapport with someone when you find yourself sincerely liking the other person, when you feel as though you have a lot in common, when the other person may say something like”Have we met before? or I feel like I have known you forever!” You may notice you or the other person blushing or you feel really at ease. Sometimes when you are in rapport the other person may start matching/mirroring your behaviors as well. Most of the time you will know when you are in rapport with someone else – it will feel natural.
For example, I was getting ready to do a presentation for work for a group of 4 ladies I had never met. They were all older than me so, it was harder in just the introduction, to find a common ground with them right away. So, as I began my presentation I tried building rapport with them. The first things I noticed – going back to sensory acuity – was that one of the ladies had a stronger presence in the room and the other 3 women appeared to have a strong sense of respect for her. This particular woman was the first to request a drink – the other 3 then did the same. She sat a certain way & controlled most of the conversation while the other 3 women were mirroring her. I realized that they were all in rapport with this woman & it was going to make my job a little easier! All I had to do was to get rapport with this one woman. So, I began talking on her tone scale and mirroring her posture & gestures. After ten minutes into the presentation all 4 women were very excited about what I was offering & were thrilled to have met me & wanted to introduce me to their daughters! Needless to say, all of them got involved with us in our business & so did their daughters!!! The magic of rapport has helped me in many ways – personally & professionally.
I would love to help you do the same! Don’t hesitate to contact me – so I can help you take it to the next level!
I wrote this article for a continuing education course at www.ModernJedi.com
