Paularaemckim's Blog

It’s a know fact we like those that are like ourselves. We like those who we have something “in common with.”

“in common with” meaning they are like you! When people are like each other – they will automatically like each other.

However, in business we don’t always get to pick out those that we like to work with. So, in business we can use our Rapport building skills to get others to like you.  Rapport is being at ease with someone – it’s pointing out your similarities & emphasizing those similarities so that they will like you and trust you. In business or in any personal moment in your life when you are dealing with a client or a person where you need to develop a quick relationship – the best way to create this positive relationship is to quickly create rapport with them.  There are several ways to create rapport using words, tonality & physiology. Such as: posture, breathing, eye movements, the tones & volumes of your voice, and matching their predicate words, phrases, experiences etc… These rapport building skills  take practice but will work wonders for you in your personal & business life!

You will know when you have established rapport with someone when you find yourself sincerely liking the other person, when you feel as though you have a lot in common, when the other person may say something like”Have we met before? or I feel like I have known you forever!”  You may notice you or the other person blushing or you feel really at ease. Sometimes when you are in rapport the other person may start matching/mirroring your behaviors as well. Most of the time you will know when you are in rapport with someone else – it will feel natural.

For example, I was getting ready to do a presentation for work for a group of 4 ladies I had never met. They were all older than me so, it was harder in just the introduction, to find a common ground with them right away. So, as I began my presentation I tried building rapport with them. The first things I noticed – going back to sensory acuity – was that one of the ladies had a stronger presence in the room and the other 3 women appeared to have a strong sense of respect for her. This particular woman was the first to request a drink – the other 3 then did the same. She sat a certain way & controlled most of the conversation while the other 3 women were mirroring her. I realized that they were all in rapport with this woman & it was going to make my job a little easier! All I had to do was to get rapport with this one woman. So, I began talking on her tone scale and mirroring her posture & gestures. After ten minutes into the presentation all 4 women were very excited about what I was offering & were thrilled to have met me & wanted to introduce me to their daughters! Needless to say, all of them got involved with us in our business & so did their daughters!!! The magic of rapport has helped me in many ways – personally & professionally.

I would love to help you do the same! Don’t hesitate to contact me – so I can help you take it to the next level!

I wrote this article for a continuing education course at www.ModernJedi.com

One of our biggest ways of communication is through the non-verbal. Being aware and observing other people is HUGE when it comes to understanding what they are REALLY saying! NLP’ers are aware that people make minute changes from moment to moment & that those changes have meaning IF you have enough Sensory Acuity – Mark Shepherd, ModernJediGUY.

Every person unconsciously emits non-verbal cues ; Some can be more obvious via body language: pursed lips, arms crossed, turning away from you … While other cues may be harder to identify such as: pupil dilation, skin color changing, breathing (fast or slow).  The better your sensory acuity is in observing other people the better you can understand them & build rapport* quicker.

* We will learn more about rapport later.

I wrote this article for a continuing education course at www.ModernJedi.com

I LOVE the Learning State! ALL learning is unconscious – that is why it is so important to first get into the Learning State!

Take a DEEP breath – RELAX!
Then look up – find a spot (maybe where the ceiling & the wall meet) & become aware of your peripheral vision – seeing how far back you can go

Staying aware of that peripheral vision bring your head back down to level.  This will expand your peripheral vision & put you into the Learning State. This will expand your awareness.

Simple but so valuable!

I love the Learning State & I use it a lot. Especially when I have mornings like I did today! Wake up – get the baby – change the baby – feed the baby – kiss the baby – answer the home phone – cell phone rings, put the home phone caller on hold – answer cell – baby is crying, wants to be picked up – pick up baby – get off cell – get back on home phone – calendar in a  meeting – get off home phone – incoming cell text – read text – put baby down – baby wants right back up – go downstairs – put in a load of laundry one-handed – baby busy talking – communicate back  – kiss baby – take baby, little dog & go outside – let chickens out – collect eggs – bring baby back inside – wash eggs – go upstairs – get baby dressed – kiss baby – read baby a book – go back down stairs – baby wants to play – play with baby – phone rings – answer phone – get baby ready to go run some errands – pack diaper bag – fill sippy cup – bring a snack – grab purse – strap baby in car seat – cell phone rings – baby starts to cry – get off phone – hand baby sippy cup – drive to post office – baby talking the whole way there – get out of car – get baby out of car seat – carry baby & load in some boxes – mail them – & repeat … repeat … repeat at the bank, store & then arrive back home – change baby – make baby lunch – missed 3 phone calls due to cranky baby & not being able to hear – washcloth bath baby – change baby again – rock baby – kiss baby – lay baby down for nap – now it’s quiet -  I now have 6 missed phone calls – & about 2 hours of work time – I quickly clean kitchen – decide what to make for dinner (thaw out meat if necessary) – transfer loads of laundry -  I get on the computer – check email – return phone calls – talk quietly – and when It’s time to open my mind for some learning – I NEED to enter into the LEARNING STATE – it quiets my mind  & gives me a minute to myself.  I know my afternoon & evening are going to be WAY more busy.  SO, even before I enter into a meeting, I enter into the Learning State. It has become a very valuable tool for me to quiet my mind.

I wrote this article for a continuing education course at www.ModernJedi.com